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Madness Monday

4/13/2015

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Well, I called today Madness Monday because when I got home, you could tell that my husband hadn't taken his medication today. He was angry. As soon as I got home he started yelling. I was already having a bad day and really didn't need to come home to this. But I guess that is what happens when you are married to a veteran with PTSD. I know inside that this is his PTSD talking, but his words still hurt.
Anger is one of the symptoms of PTSD. I found an article on how to help a family member with PTSD and it talks about anger.

PictureMy husband lying on couch not caring about anything else going on.
What did I do when it happened?

The first thing that I did was nothing. I didn't want to say anything back to make him even angrier. I told myself that this is not the real him. This is his PTSD acting out and he really doesn't mean what he is saying. That's hard to do when you are already on the verge of crying. I had to reassure myself that this was a normal symptom of PTSD, so I googled it. I already knew that it was, but at the moment i was feeling weak, so looking it up reassured me that this is OK. Here is a quote from the website that I found information on about anger. If you click on the quote it will take you to the site.
"Your family member may feel angry about many things. Anger is a normal reaction to trauma, but it can hurt relationships and make it hard to think clearly. Anger also can be frightening."

Here's another website that actually has veterans talking about anger and irritability and what they did in order to help themselves.
symptoms/anger-irritability


The Worst Part.
When my husband gets very depressed, frustrated and doesn't take his medicine, he gets to the, what i call, "I don't care" phase. It's really bad because he seriously doesn't care about anything. He shuts down all his emotions to the point where he doesn't feel anything. I really do not like this phase because you can never win. No matter what you say, you are not going to win, because of course, he doesn't care. His exact words tonight were, "don’t you understand that I don’t care about anything.”  At this point he is ready to just give up and let everything go. This really puts more stress onto me. I know that he isn't at the point of suicide, all he needs is to take his medication and things will be better. But I need to coax him into taking it and then I have to deal with everything else until he is out of his mood. Usually when he is in this mood, he just lays on the couch or hides in his room.
The good thing is, if he takes his medicine, he will be better in about 40 min.
 

If you are experiencing anger or irritability, what can you do about it right away?
This will take you to the Veterans Affairs website.



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Good day gone bad

2/28/2015

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It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. I'm his wife, I love him to death, and I try to take care of him. I feel like today was a day from hell. I know it wasn't that bad, but during the time it was happening it hurt. Everything started off good this morning. It was a sunny, beautiful 18° day, and we were going to run a few errands. After finishing what we needed to do, we stopped to have lunch. We had no kids this weekend, so it was very nice, just the two of us. A couple hours had gone by, and I always forget that he needs to take his medicine every so many hours. He especially needs his anxiety medicine.

Well, he didn't take it when he was supposed to, so all of a sudden, out of the blue, he just starts yelling at me for no reason. I don't always think that he knows he is yelling, but it hurts. It also makes me angry, and I feel like I just want to yell back. Then I remember that he has PTSD, and it’s not 100 percent his fault. I take the yelling for a little bit, and then I ask him why he is yelling at me. Sometimes he says he's sorry, other times he has an excuse. I probably pissed him off then because I asked him if he took his medicine. He hates it when I ask him that, but how can I not when he starts turning into a jerk? I am usually right in asking because most of the time he forgets to take it.

Just because I am being strong, doesn't mean that I’m not hurting inside. I feel like I have to hold everything inside because he needs someone strong beside him. I want to be that perfect, strong, and supporting military wife, but sometimes I wonder who is going to take care of me. When is it my time to just break down and let everything go?



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