Today I am going to talk about flashbacks. I just had two uncles and a good friend pass away in the last two weeks. It has been very difficult, not only for me, but also for my husband. Just to fill you in, when my husband was in Afghanistan, he would receive a phone call telling him that there was a body, and he needed to pick it up. He was in charge of getting all the bodies bagged and ready to ship back to the U. S.
The death that really bothered my husband the most was the good friend. We received a phone call that he had just died, so we rushed over to his house to give his wife support. When we got there, there was a sheet over our friends body. This immediately gave my husband flashbacks. I could tell that he was trying to be strong and not let it bother him. He did pretty well until they came in with the body bag. Then we had to leave.
On the drive home my husband got a phone call, it was his counselor asking him how he was.That is exactly what my husband needed at the time. For the rest of the day, he was quiet and withdrawn. He told me that while he was at home, he saw body bags when he was looking around late that night. He also had problems falling asleep, and when he did, he had a nightmare about a phone ringing. He was terrified that if he picked up the phone, it would be an order to go pick up a body bag and bring it to the mortuary affairs building.
Last night was the funeral, and you could see my husband’s anxiety kicking in. I was all emotional, and he was trying to be strong for me. But then he started twitching.Twitching can be caused by anxiety, which is a symptom of PTSD. I knew that his anxiety was very high and tried to pull myself together for his sake. I placed my hand on his arm to try to calm him down.
He is still not acting right today. He slept most of the day, which is another symptom of PTSD. He told me that he had no energy and he feels confused. He doesn't understand why his nightmares are so vivid, even though his last deployment was in 2010. He also did not want to go anywhere or do anything. We were invited to go out for a St. Patrick's Day dinner, but he couldn't get up the courage to go. Once again, PTSD has won, ruining a nice dinner of corned beef, cabbage, and green beer. But I love my husband and will give it up for him.