Veteran's Wife
  • Blog
  • About me
  • What is PTSD?
  • Treatments
  • Contact
  • Link to My Website

Anger

5/21/2017

2 Comments

 
H​ow many of you have experienced this? 
You are having a good day and are excited to get home. When you do get home, your veteran is in a bad mood. He starts yelling at you about everything, and it is usually something that isn't really important. They call you names and make you feel bad about yourself. You try to calm them down, but it seems that whatever you say, they turn it negative. You feel lost and alone at that moment and wonder how long you can put up with this. 

Anger can be a normal response for those that are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s a survival response that helps them cope with their stress.  But sometimes they get stuck and they respond to all stress in a survival mode. Their thoughts and beliefs are also affected by their PTSD and it is hard for us to understand what our veteran is going through and why they are taking out their anger on us.

What can we do to help?

 ​There are some things that we can do to help our veteran so that they will have different responses and not be so quick to act out. Some things that we can help them with could be telling them to take a timeout, having them write down their thoughts when they are angry, counting slowly, and changing the pattern of acting first and thinking later. They need to learn how to think first before they act.
​You have to try to remember what they have been through and what they are going through at that moment. Try to remember that it really isn't you that they are angry at. 
2 Comments
Donna
5/29/2017 07:22:38 am

I am having a very hard time with this as well. Actually, my husband of 15 years and I are on the verge of divorce and I am extremely unhappy right now. He was wounded by a mortar attack in Iraq back in '07 and I'm still waiting for things to get better. He has moderate PTSD and a mild TBI...he also has a bad case of mistrust for the VA, so.getting him to seek treatment and stay on course has been difficult. I understand why he feels this way, as the VA has messed up numerous times throughout the last 10 years. I'm pretty sure dealing with his PTSD has given me secondary PTSD...now we just trigger each others emotions and I feel like I'm constantly teetering between walking on eggshells and wanting to explode myself. I feel like he blames me for everything and I can't get anything or say anything right. I'm so tired of fighting that I just shut down. I decided to reach out because I have no friends left....he has run them all off with the way he acts eventually...even family has used him as a reason why they turned their backs on me. So basically because of PTSD, all the relationships in my life are destroyed and I end up feeling like i don't want to exist anymore. I am so sad and tired of living this way. I feel hopeless after 10 years that things will never change. I'm starting a new job soon so I can prepare if leaving turns out to be the best option, but I feel so guilty thinking about abandoning him...he used to be the love of my life but i don't recognize him half the time anymore :(

Reply
Charlene link
6/8/2017 05:52:45 pm

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. We can help support each other through the difficult times.
I understand that your husband has mistrust for the VA, so does my husband. He also has TBI. It seems that the VA just keeps sending him in a circle and nothing gets fixed.
We are traveling right now. I should be home on saturday if you want to message me back.
Try to keep your chin up and think positive. I know it's hard, but you can do it.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Need Help Now
    Picture
    I want to inform people about what is happening to our veterans and connect with other military families that are experiencing some of the same things. You are not alone!

    Categories

    All
    Bad Days
    Flashbacks
    Nightmares
    Secondary PTSD
    Treatments/Medication

    Archives

    May 2017
    December 2016
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015

    Link to my website
    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.